What’s it like to be in the water?

fish gliding through rippling water
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Adventure Question: What types of things truly make you feel alive and exactly who you are? Whatever your answer, try to have a mini-adventure doing some of that and come back to tell the tale.

Fish out of water vs. fish in the water? Which sounds more exciting and which more affirming? I’ve always been one of these fish, not surprising since I was born a pisces, but I’m afraid the former type was more my habit.

Bench near Koi pond

Today’s thinking place. 031513

Mom says,”You always had to swim upstream”. That used to really piss me off, but lately, I think she’s right. Struggle and fight and turning myself off to fit in has pretty much been my mindset. Exhausting.

I notice that now I’m over 50 I’m starting to feel like the koi gliding in the stream. The koi don’t think about how to swim. They don’t try to swim.  They just swim. They teach me today that I too need to live where I’m not “trying”, but being and doing. Guess Nike, Inc. was really onto something when the ‘Just Do It’ ad first came out back in 1988.

Problem is that I always felt prodded by “Just do it”. It felt bossy and external.

Going back to my Mom’s comment, I didn’t want to do much because outside voices told me too. I swam against the tide. But I realize that swimming against something is as much giving up control and choice as going along.

Today, I want to finally, like the koi, swim prompted by my own inner voice and instinct.

koismallKoi can be tiny or  grow very large. Koi come in many colors and patterns. All swim while alive. Koi belong in the water.

I belong in the water too. Today in my water aerobics class I was practicing being in the moment and paying attention. It feels so good to be in the pool, so natural for me. I tried to express to myself in words how it feels to be in the water.

I feel warm rolling pulses brush my body as we move in unison stretching out our joints and muscles. I feel supported. There is a structure to the water that I am missing on land. A weightless feeling. I can move my limbs through the heaviness without feeling heavy. If I choose to swim, I’m a mermaid flirting among willowy sea fronds. I’m a turtle rising like a bubble in the sunlight to take a breath. I’m part of the sea, not awkward, not self-conscious.

I discover as I try to capture “being in the water”, what I really mean is being me.

How about you?

The question to ponder for today: What’s it like to be in the water?

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TWhat do you say? What’s it like to be in the water? What does that look like for you?
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What’s it like to be in the water?

4 thoughts on “What’s it like to be in the water?

  1. calensariel

    “But I realize that swimming against something is as much giving up control and choice as going along.”

    That is a very profound truth. And it just shows you how complicated we human beings are. We have to learn to be seated in our own soul, so to speak, so our decisions really belong to us. I nearly didn’t marry his lordship because everyone we knew in college said we were perfect for each other and SHOULD get married. I let it keep me away from him for nearly a year. I really had to struggle with that decision, with what I really wanted. It was exactly what you said. Well put, Laurie.

  2. Linda Quinn

    Grew up with summers at Balboa and Santa Monica beaches. Was it the smell, texture, or taste of the water that drew me in? All of the above. Lakes, rivers and swimming pools are only second best.

  3. Pingback: Feeling Fat and Other Binge Triggers | Compulsive Overeating Diary | Living With Binge Eating Disorder

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